What Your Preacher Needs from You
Who ministers to the minister? Many times the preacher can feel like he’s all alone on a deserted island, left to deal with the stresses and strains of ministry in isolation. He may have a wife he can turn to, but he doesn’t feel comfortable unloading it all on her. Plus, there are some things he must keep private, even from her. Perhaps he can talk with the elders, or a trusted deacon. Maybe it’s a personality flaw but I can personally attest to the fact that preachers don’t always feel as though they have an outlet to vent or to unload the burdens of ministry. I am saddened to hear of preachers who take a permanent leave of absence from the pulpit because they became overwhelmed. It may be that they were too weak, didn’t have thick enough skin, or just needed to grow up a little; however, I don’t believe that is true in every case. Much of the stress that a preacher feels is self-inflicted. Many of us carry the weight of constant concern for the church. We feel guilty. We feel inadequate. We lack confidence at times. We hurt and we mourn. We see the worst in people. We are disappointed. We are let down. We struggle with sin. Many times the congregation has the perception that the preacher has it all figured out. Well, let me just tell you, he doesn’t. Please don’t assume that he and his family just skip through life singing Blue Skies and Rainbows. The preacher’s life is highly rewarding. It is, in my opinion, the best life. But that doesn’t mean it’s utopia. When it comes to church we often speak of the needs of the congregation. Don’t forget that the preacher and his family are a part of the congregation, and they have needs as well.
I love preachers and I want to see them succeed. I believe most Christians want that as well. Allow me to share a few suggestions for ministering to your minister.
- FIND WAYS TO UPLIFT (1 Thess. 5:11). All too often church members find ways to tear down rather than lift up. I’m not sure why that is, but it’s all too common. I’m convinced that some Christians don’t even realize the impact of their words. Every preacher has heard phrases like: “You’re going to make a preacher someday.” Or, “That was good, but…(insert criticism).” Statements like these may seem rather harmless but over time they can be quite taxing. Is the preacher above constructive criticism? Absolutely not. Should he be willing and able to accept the wise counsel of others when he is wrong? Of course. But he shouldn’t be subjected to the constant barrage of nit picking from the grammar police or the church member who has taken on the role of speech teacher grading a pupil. All preachers have areas in which they could do better, but I think we can all agree that encouragement is a much better tool for inciting growth than constant chastising and castigating. And please don’t pass over non-constructive criticism by stating, “Well, he just needs to have thicker skin.” No person should be expected to thicken their exterior to withstand the destructive tongue of another.
- UNDERSTAND HIS ROLE (2 Tim. 4:2). Depending on the size of the congregation a preacher can wear many hats. However, many roles are assigned exclusively to him that should be shared among the congregation. For instance, the complaint is sometimes levied by church members that the preacher doesn’t visit enough or is not conducting enough Bible studies (Ironically, he may get criticized for not spending enough time at the office if he is out doing “too much” visiting or evangelizing). If the preacher is shirking these responsibilities out of laziness then that is a critical matter that needs addressing. But many times the congregation has shirked their responsibilities by expecting the preacher to pick up the slack. I have known preachers who were on the verge of burn out because they were doing the elders’ job, the deacons’ job, and the congregations’ job. Personal Bible study, evangelism, visitation, are not duties relegated to the preacher. They are Christian responsibilities that we all share as the Lord’s body (Mt. 25:31-46; Mt. 28:19-20). Don’t expect the preacher to do your job! Also, the preacher is often raising a family. Don’t allow your expectations to be so burdensome that he cannot be an effective husband and father.
- LOVE HIM (Mk. 12:29-31; Jn. 13:34-35). You may not be very fond of your preacher. You may think he’s boring. You may not like his style. But he is your brother in Christ. He is a human being; therefore, he should be a recipient of your love and respect. He is laboring for the Lord and that is certainly a worthwhile endeavor—one that should be appreciated. So tell him you love him, not just by shaking his hand on the way out of the auditorium or telling him, “That was a good speech.” Hug his neck. Be specific with your compliments. Value him and his family. Be a Barnabas.
- PRAY FOR HIM (1 Thess. 5:25). Your preacher needs your prayers. Pray for his well-being. Pray for his family. Pray for his effectiveness. Pray that he will be the servant, the husband, and the father God needs him to be. Pray for his daily walk with God.
This is certainly not an exhaustive list. And this is certainly not meant to be a rant or an attempt at gaining sympathy. This is meant to serve as a friendly reminder that the preacher is not above the fray. He’s not Superman. He’s not invincible. And he’s certainly not impervious to the struggles of the task. Let’s all help our preacher to be as successful as possible as we strive to help the Lord’s church be as successful as possible.